


everything i do, i do for you

by xylomylo



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 21:51:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7987504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xylomylo/pseuds/xylomylo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>chaeyoung dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	everything i do, i do for you

Chaeyoung is a dreamer.

She dreams of the stage, and all its glory. Its blinding lights shining, the incessant thrumming of the bass pulsing in her veins as she dances, body moving through muscle memory. The roar of the audience leaving a swelling pride in her chest, making every single drop of blood and tear shed worth it. The exhilaration of a live performance, how it would feel when she feeds off the energy from the crowd, giddy with adrenaline, with her senses on overdrive.

She also dreams of love, and all its quirks. Waking up in a familiar embrace, tangled in a mess of cotton sheets and limbs. Making pancakes at two in the afternoon, and ending up in a food fight. A smile that warms her from the winter, a touch that sets her entire being on fire, drowning her soul in starlight. Searing kisses that make her heart pool with warmth stretching all the way to her fingertips. A passionate love story that she can tell to her grandchildren, to the moon and back.

But when she turns sixteen, she catches a glimpse of the real world as it is. Between juggling schoolwork and being an idol, there is literally no time for anything else. Her life blurs into an indefinite nothingness where all there is is a shortage of time, rushing from one place to another with an average two-hour sleep night. The exhaustion is real when waking up in last night's makeup has become a norm (the makeup-unnies never fail to give her shit for it) and she flops straight onto bed face first once the front door unlocks, body on autopilot and ignoring everything (everyone) else.

Training for 3 years has certainly not prepared her for this. Heck, she's pretty sure that no amount of training could prepare anyone for what they face everyday: countless hours of dance practice, vocal training, expression training (PD-nim always said to look pretty, Chaeyoung-ah), the horde of fans outside the company, smiling and waving to cameras when all they wanted was to curl up in bed and sleep forever. Hearing stories from their company sunbaes was one thing, but experiencing it first-hand was another thing altogether.

Their recent performance at the LA Staples Center cemented their position as one of the top rookie girl groups of 2016, but to Chaeyoung it didn't hold as much significance as she thought it would. Sure, visiting the United States for the first time in her life was an eye-opener, but knowing that the sole purpose of visiting was for work made it seem...dull. Also, being subjected to public scrutiny almost every waking moment made it more stressful than what it already was. The screams and fan chants they got from the crowd were undeniably on a different level than the ones back in korea, and it was definitely an unforgettable performance with the eight other members she grew to love, but somehow she still felt a little empty. And hollow. As though nothing could fill the void that was her (heart).

Sometimes she would lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling and wonder if this was what she wanted. If three years of hardcore dance practices and lyric writing classes, and one survival programme that forced all of them to step on each other to chase their dreams was worth it. If giving up having a normal childhood, an ordinary life was worth it. It seemed as though the exhaustion and stress that came with being an idol was a never-ending black hole that sucked away her passions and dreams. A plaque that fed on her insecurities and the intrinsic matter that was her. She knew that it was only a matter of time before she lost her soul (on some days she feels the darkness eating at her, when her smile gradually moulds into part of the wall she built in a desperate attempt to keep her sanity) too, and all that would remain would be a money-making puppet.

And on most of these nights (tonight), her thoughts would be interrupted by the familiar creak of her bed frame, with a soft warm body wriggling under her polka-dotted covers and pressing against her side, a blur of black hair coming into view, smelling of lavender.

"Nayeon-unnie?" she blinks, snapping out of her thoughts and tilting her head down to look at her unnie.

"Scoot over, I'm not as skinny as you think," comes the muffled reply from the older girl as she loops an arm over Chaeyoung's middle, face pressed into her shoulder.

"Don't you have an early recording tomorrow?" Chaeyoung questions, eyebrows coming together in a frown. "Its pretty late, you know."

"For someone who sleeps at the ass-crack of dawn, you're one to talk," Nayeon counters, free hand coming up to play with the loose threads from Chaeyoung's worn out shirt. "Also because I could hear you thinking from all the way across the hall. Quit overthinking things and sleep, before your tiny brain short-circuits."

Chaeyoung hums in response, and the two fall into a comfortable silence. Living with eight other girls who felt like family meant that they constantly supported each other, because no one else could understand them as much as themselves. And as one of the youngest, she wasn't oblivious to the other girls's extra attention towards her. Like how Jihyo-unnie makes sure to wake her up last so she could get more sleep, how Jeongyeon-unnie cleans up quietly after her instead of nagging like she would the others, how Nayeon-unnie buys her endless notebooks to scribble in.

As the nine of them grew closer, she was taken aback by how well Nayeon seemed to understand her. The older girl was always the first to notice her discomfort, despite her putting up a strong front (which fooled almost anyone), and would go out of her way with her hugs and kisses. When she was too afraid of speaking out at the beginning, it was Nayeon who initiated conversations with her bunny teeth and infectious happiness, and coaxed her out of her shell to properly befriend everyone. She never understood what the older girl saw in her that made her step forward. _Probably just doing her part as an unnie,_ she thinks.

"Unnie?" she calls out softly, looking down at her unnie. Nayeon's eyes are shut, breathing slow and steady, with one arm still around Chaeyoung, face void of any stress lines. The sight of the older girl asleep stirs something inside of her that makes her feel _alive_.

Its moments like these where she feels like the world has so much more to offer than what it appears to. That life is so much more than just running around in endless circles, chasing after dreams that slip through fingers. With the members, she feels as though they have a chance at conquering the world, winning the war they set out to fight. With Nayeon-unnie by her side, she feels complete, a constant reassurance against the looming darkness. She and her alabaster luminescence, silencing her inner demons with a single touch, a light to guide her home.

Because she is content with the present, and because sometimes life gives you more that what you ask for, but always at a price. Giving up a normal life for her dreams seemed pretty pricey, especially when it includes physically and mentally draining activities, but when she got adopted into this group of girls she realises she can't live without, she thinks that _it might actually be worth it._

Chaeyoung moves carefully to pull her covers tighter around Nayeon and flips the light switch softly, painting the room a midnight black. The contentment she feels from the presence of the eight other girls gives her the strength she needs to carry on doing what she does, and makes her feel capable enough to do anything. And maybe, just maybe, _dreams do come true_ , she thinks, a soft smile gracing her face as she surrenders herself to the inviting fatigue, dreaming of lavender.

Chaeyoung dreams.


End file.
